Of hypocrisy and douchbags.

Once I get settled in a new job, any new job, I’m going to quit working where I work now :/

Lately, my boss has been getting on my case about every stupid thing that goes wrong. Aside from the obvious cases in which I admit that I’ve messed up on, here’s a list of all the other stupid little things that I’ve apparently also been doing that doesn’t sit right with my supervisors:

1. Listening to music on my mp3 player with my earbuds while I go on my mail runs.
Hokays, let me tell you about the attorneys, my coworkers, a few of the secretaries, and that one woman who was never without her iPod who do that. Of all the people, why is it me who is no longer allowed to listen to my music? I deliver my mail quickly (a job I’m not even allowed to do on my own, mind you) and I don’t bother anybody. I don’t sing out loud. I don’t have my music up so loud that I can’t hear when people ask me questions. I have a great pair of earbuds that don’t allow other people to hear what I’m listening to. My coworkers consistently go out with their music on and I’M the one whose apparently being unprofessional and what was that? Offensive? I only thought that listening to my music quietly with my earbuds on was allowed because everybody else was doing it including the people who have a problem with it.

2. Apparently I’m some sort of slut within the office
Hokays, 1: whether or not I’ve been sleeping with all handsomeish men in the building, its none of your damn business. 2. FYI: I’m only sleeping with one of the men, and I love him. 3. Is it really my fault that I’d rather not deal with women? We women suck. Especially the women we work with, because they tend to be lazy and gossipy. Hence, why I get in trouble for stupid speculation shit.

And is it really my fault that the whole world loves me?

Hokays, so on Thursday, I get back from my mail run. I’m normally supposed to go with one of my coworkers, but she’s kind of slow and she likes to take her time (the slowness has nothing to do with her taking her time), but she’s nice. We decided to split the floors so we both could get things done faster. It was a pretty good plan :B Plus, I just don’t like people helping me with my work. I don’t like the awkward standing-in-the-elevator conversations. I don’t like bumping arms. I don’t like finishing my half of the work faster and wanting to take some of the other person’s work so we could finish faster since that may seem rude. So anyway, I finish my portion fairly quickly and I stupidly told her the deal between me and my coworker when she asked if I finished my work.

Cus you know, its a pretty good deal. My coworker is familiar with what she has to do and knows where everything is, so she could take her time. I don’t, so I spend most of my time trying to figure out where everyone’s mailboxes are. Its faster, it doesn’t have any of that weird awkward silences and arm bumpings, and its actually a pretty brilliant idea. Only my supervisor gets mad for some reason, saying that it wasn’t supposed to happen that way. That if the wrong person saw, that she’d get in trouble, and blah, blah, blah. I’m not particularly sure why we’d get in trouble the way we did it before. She just kept shaking her head in a 3-chin-jiggle fashion while repeating “no” over and over.

I personally think its because she didn’t think of the idea herself.

She goes off on how she “knows what she’s doing” (does she really?), that she’ll get in trouble if the higher-ups saw me doing my work and not the way she wanted us to do it (oddly enough, they have seen. But they complained about the music instead?), and storms off all pissed and whatnot.

I try to tell her that its really just a matter of convenience, that its better for the all of us if we did our work the way we were doing it. And I told her that if thats the way things were, then fine, whatever, I’ll respect that. Instead, my boss goes off on her little tirade on how “things aren’t going to be nice to you” (wtf were we talking about to get that response?) and how I’m so naive for not seeing that we’d get in trouble, and blah. Sure, fine, whatever.

So she storms off next door to do God-Knows-What (probably to do nothing) when my other coworker comes in. He asks what’s wrong, and I told him that I may have gotten my coworker in trouble (the woman I’m supposed to do the mail with). He asks if its about the undelivered boxes we forgot to do, and so our conversation trails off to what could happen if those boxes weren’t delivered on time.

And then all of a sudden, like a fat black ninja who pops out of fucking nowhere, in pops my boss. She comes in, screams at me for “Gossiping” and “keeping secrets” with my coworker (you mean the one where we forgot to deliver those boxes? BIG FAT SECRETO! or how about the one where my coworkers flip her off when she leaves?). You know, if I cared about her stupid power trips enough, I would have been gossiping. If I gave a flying fuck, I would have been talking shit about her (I’m talking shit now because I’m upset). But I don’t really give a damn, so I was talking about something else. But not to her, since she’s apparently “heard” what I was talking about. Really? From the other side of the fucking room and with my mumbly sickish whisper voice? Does she have bionic hearing or what?

She flies off the handle (while all my coworkers are watching), and tells me to follow her to her office where she proceeds to make me feel like shit. I wanted to throw things. I wanted to yell, to scream, to tell her what a stupid moron she is. To turn my English Paper on Torture only applicable to her. That if she had actually listened, she knew I wasn’t talking about her. That if she had just asked, she would have gotten the right answer.

Accusing me of shit I’ve never said, assuming that she “heard” what I was talking about, embarrassing me in front of my coworkers

and they call me unprofessional? Come on, don’t be a douche.