So I’m sunburned, right? My skin is extremely sensitive and dry, and its not really friendly towards bras (where the sun hit me most), showers, hands, shoulder straps — anything that revolves touching my shoulders.
And then there’s some aloe.
So I walk out of the shower and my sister is laughing her ass off because my mom is rubbing some aloe over her body — some new “treatment” my mom probably heard from her dumb coworkers that heals some ridiculously stupid physical ailment that doesn’t require aloe vera, like feet callouses. So that’s the scene, my sister is laughing this high pitched, annoying ass laugh while my mom is using globs of aloe on her.
This isn’t a real big deal for me, as I hate it when my mom tries to work that stupid shit on me. But I actually need the aloe. So I ask for some, and she ignores me for about 20 minutes until she’s done with my sister.
She cuts me off a piece from the short end of the aloe plant , rips back a little of the skin, tosses it to me, says
“here. You can do it yourself. Don’t forget to put some on your forehead. Comb your hair. When you’re done with your shower you should comb your hair. Also did you walk after eating? You’re getting fat. You’re at least 115lbs now. Don’t get any fatter”
Thanks mom. I love you too.