Somnambuli

We’re walking through an emptied basement of King Hall, the building that I spend the most of my time in on campus, at around 9:30 pm. I hear there are ghosts roaming around the building at night/early in the morning, but I don’t see any. I keep my eyes peeled for something to zip by us, or doors to randomly start slamming, or a woman standing at the end of the hall and disappears by the time we look again. It’s not often that I have company when I’m walking through these halls at night so I’m kind of hoping something might happen when I do so that I wouldn’t be too scared. I find nothing. What a bummer, right?

As if reading my mind, he asks me how many zombies I think are in King Hall right now.

“Two. Just me and you.”

He smiles and kisses my forehead. We had spent the good part of the evening on the roof of the building, overlooking the cities and finding out about each other. He’s not at all like the men I’m usually attracted to, and I’m attracted to that. No pretenses, no random acts of kindness to be mistaken for performance from my own paranoia and distrust because lets-face-it-he’s-not-that-kind, and no expectations. He is such a bad idea.

I suppose in the days following my last failure at a relationship, I’ve stopped hunting for love and companionship. The longing for somebody to truly understand me without being presumptuous has long since dissolved by a series of let downs by people I’ve been emotionally invested in (not necessarily getting let down, but that I’ve got disproportionate expectations). I’m lonesome, but I’ll be okay. What friends I do have are completely wonderful and have been keeping me grounded and I’m finally glad I’m able to see that now.

I told him that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and although I can’t see him because I’m staring off into the light pollution below us, I’m pretty sure he lets out a sigh of relief. I hate clingy guys. I hear him saying that we’d make a good team, but I don’t think he can see me smile in agreement. He’s gazing into the light-covered mountains in front of us.

I have the second of four oral surgeries in twenty minutes. I am not going to be very friendly this weekend, but I have the support from family and friends who wish nothing but the best for me :] Even though it’s going to feel like a horse kicked me in the jaw and I won’t be able to properly eat for the next month and I still have to study for my stupid midterms, I am the happiest I’ve been in a very long time.