One of the most annoying things about my parents (but mostly my mother) is that here I am, at 23, and the woman still thinks she can tell me what to say. For instance, I needed to go to the hospital today to obtain some records. Easy enough, right?

Sure enough, my mother leaves a post-it telling me exactly what to say. So I threw it away and my dad got mad because I threw it away. Then when I’m at the window requesting the records, my dad decides to chime in, confusing the hell out of everybody with his broken English and his general cluelessness about the whole situation.

Then my mother comes home with a letter that she’s apparently written for me and asks me if it’s okay. No, because the letter is written in my mother’s broken English and the information is all wrong. I tell her that we can’t send it in, and she gets upset and tells me that a legal analyst at work helped her write it (which is why it is totally correct). It’s not the poor English that bothers me though. Its the fact that it was almost mailed, under my name, with misinformed information, and without my consent. What the fuck, Parents? I need to move the fuck out.