They say to not dwell on the things that have hurt you in the past, which I guess, holds some legit truth to it. You can’t move on if you live in the past. For the most part, I don’t really care. I’ve learned to ignore the past but when something in the present day escalates to the same intensity of what happened before, I can’t help but drag up all of the shit things that have happened previously.

Personally, I think “don’t dwell on it” is a callous phrase. I don’t dwell on things. That implies that I’m consistently feeling this way because of what happened — and that’s not the case. I get upset over them when the moment to arises because I haven’t learned to not feel pain or hurt, even after I’ve come to terms with the reality of the situation and am fully aware that no real good can come from it. It’s like talking about the good times you once had. Why should I be told not to dwell on something if that something happens to be sad?

I’m just going to cry it out because that’s easier than trying to reason with why I shouldn’t dwell on things. I’m crying over it because it still hurts. I’m allowed to get upset over them. It just takes me a little longer to get over it. I’m not a rock or some inanimate object that can’t feel and this kind of process takes time. And since I don’t live in the past, since I don’t always bring it up, and since the times I do bring it up is when something else triggers it, I’m going to go ahead and say that my crying is totally fine.

You’re the damn crazy person who can’t let it out.