Me: Are you good at econ?
Hot guy from the bus who looks like God carved him especially for my eyecandy purposes: I knooooow that it’s hard?
Me: :[ I’m stuck on this stupid assignment and it’s already a day late!
Hot Guy: Just do what I did in college :D Cheat off the smart kid! :D

Thanks, Hot Guy. If you weren’t so beautiful I’d have punched you.

Sergio’s Curly-Mullet, silver capped tooth friend who had spent most of the time on the bus tyring to get my attention but couldn’t hold a conversation to save his life : Man, how come none of the girls you talk to ever talk to me?
Sergio: It’s because you look like a fucking rapist.

. . . And people wonder where I get my bluntness from. I know the coolest people!

Frank: aw
what did you wish for?
me: Something lame
Happiness :P
Frank: a pineapple?
me: I should have wished for a pineapple!
Frank: yes!
it would’ve been very feasible

I’ve got to start wishing for more tangible things. I also thought it was really cute how Frank guessed I wished for a pineapple. Who wishes for pineapples on shooting stars? That’s so adorable and makes so much more sense :P

Me: There’s this great coffee shop by my work. We could take the bus there since you’ve never been on the bus before. It’a be fun :D
J: I’ll need to bring like, a machete or something.
Me: Where the hell are you going to hide a machete?
J: In my pocket! I’ll slide it down my pant leg and just not bend my leg so when they ask what’s up I’ll just tell them I’ve got a busted leg.
Me: Cus there’s a fricken’ machete in your pocket?
J: Yeah!

He doesn’t know it, but it’s the first time I’ve laughed today.

John: I thought you said “soup”!
Me: Who masturbates with soup?!