Thanks, Hot Guy. If you weren’t so beautiful I’d have punched you.

. . . And people wonder where I get my bluntness from. I know the coolest people!

I’ve got to start wishing for more tangible things. I also thought it was really cute how Frank guessed I wished for a pineapple. Who wishes for pineapples on shooting stars? That’s so adorable and makes so much more sense :P

He doesn’t know it, but it’s the first time I’ve laughed today.

As if reading my mind, he asks me how many zombies I think are in King Hall right now.

“Two. Just me and you.”

He smiles and kisses my forehead. We had spent the good part of the evening on the roof of the building, overlooking the cities and finding out about each other. He’s not at all like the men I’m usually attracted to, and I’m attracted to that. No pretenses, no random acts of kindness to be mistaken for performance from my own paranoia and distrust because lets-face-it-he’s-not-that-kind, and no expectations. He is such a bad idea.

I suppose in the days following my last failure at a relationship, I’ve stopped hunting for love and companionship. The longing for somebody to truly understand me without being presumptuous has long since dissolved by a series of let downs by people I’ve been emotionally invested in (not necessarily getting let down, but that I’ve got disproportionate expectations). I’m lonesome, but I’ll be okay. What friends I do have are completely wonderful and have been keeping me grounded and I’m finally glad I’m able to see that now.

I told him that I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and although I can’t see him because I’m staring off into the light pollution below us, I’m pretty sure he lets out a sigh of relief. I hate clingy guys. I hear him saying that we’d make a good team, but I don’t think he can see me smile in agreement. He’s gazing into the light-covered mountains in front of us.

I have the second of four oral surgeries in twenty minutes. I am not going to be very friendly this weekend, but I have the support from family and friends who wish nothing but the best for me :] Even though it’s going to feel like a horse kicked me in the jaw and I won’t be able to properly eat for the next month and I still have to study for my stupid midterms, I am the happiest I’ve been in a very long time.

It was then when I realized that I had two cups of green tea earlier today and I am wired.

I like talking to Kit, since I talk to him maybe twice a year nowadays when nobody else is awake. When I was sixteen, he was the first person to tell me that I was way too pessimistic and that I should probably think of the brighter sides of the situation because I was a bit of a downer. He probably doesn’t remember it now, but I fought him on it (the usual). Afterwards, I went around to everybody who would care to listen and asked whether or not I was in the right to be upset over his comment.

Somebody said “you should never change for anybody” and I totally came back to Kit the next day telling him just that that. You know, ending it with a “SO THERE!” in typical Karen fashion. I could have been standing akimbo if we weren’t in a car and if he weren’t taking me home from class.

Kit then asked “but what if the change was going to be good for you?” I pouted and went off on something about the subjectivity of what was “good” for the individual. We both sort of knew that I decide what’s good.

It’s something I ask myself every time I feel myself rejecting something new and different coming my way. I find it a little bizarre that Kit would IM me randomly (or not so randomly if I was the only conscious person on his buddy list like he is on mine) right after the man who causes me to ask these questions to myself signs off. Though, knowing me, this shouldn’t be too much a surprise.

-Got in an argument with John that went into two am
-Three hours of sleep
-Broke as hell, so I skipped breakfast
-Dropped a stack of papers on my foot. Was wearing my sock-shoes, spaceboots.
-Binders turned out to be kinda heavy, so they dragged me down and I fell on my knees.
-Got money from the bank, went to the Lost Souls for some blood/caffeine
-Burned my tongue on the Matcha Green Tea
-All foods after this point tastes like sandpaper.
-Realized that the Lost Souls guy shortchanged me by five bucks during lunch.
-Red nail polish looks like shit on me
-Have a zit on my forehead so large that moons orbit around it
-Woman at work was a total bitch to me. She normally is, but yeah. I completed some work for her and she was ready to thank my coworker graciously for it. And when my coworker said “Nah, Karen did it :D”, the bitch turned around and left. I’m not really surprised.
-Slight cold going on
-Kicked over an open thing of nail polish remover, spilling it all over the floor. AND I JUST BOUGHT IT.
-Have a TON of work to do :/

Sigh.

I’m sitting in the backseat when my dad takes me home from school. We usually don’t say much to each other, but today my dad decides to tell me about a dream he had last night. I’m not sure if this was a dream or a nightmare — since it seems more like a nightmare to me. But he seemed to enjoy it. In a combination of broken Chinese and terrible English, our conversation went as follows:

Dad: I had a dream last night where I fought ghosts!
Me: Ghosts?
Dad: Yeahs! We were all going to visit Edwin’s Grandpa. Jennifer and Mom were going in the new car while you and me went in this van. Only when we got there, three ghosts were blocking the doorway and wouldn’t let us in! But mom and Jennifer were able to go right in and see Grandpa, but they wouldn’t let us in!
Me: Why?
Dad: Cus they were blocking the door!
Me: Why were they blocking the door?
Dad: Cus they didn’t want us to see Grandpa. They said we weren’t allowed.
Me: Why?
Dad: Because they were blocking the door! But they let Mom and Jennifer in — they didn’t see the ghosts at all.
Me: Who were the ghosts?
Dad: Iunno. But I got mad at them and we got into a fight!
Me: You got in a fight with three ghosts?
Dad: Yeahs! Because they wouldn’t let me see Grandpa! But then your mom woke me up because I was kicking the sheets! D:

A short moment passes while my dad swerves in and out of traffic.

Me: Did you win?
Dad: Yeah! I always win. I’m not scared of ghosts at all. I fight them in my dreams all the time and I always win!
Me: What was I doing? You said I could see the ghosts too and they wouldn’t let me in either so what was I doing?
Dad: Oh, you got scared and hid. I protected you :D

Apparently, this happened around 2:30 am, when I was lying around the bed, day two of trying to get to sleep with the lights on because my overactive imagination has scared me half to death about mutilated humans and ghosts. And I’ll bet you guys wonder where the crazy comes from . . .